The first thing to remember is that there is no set requirement for anyone to ‘come out of the broomcloset’ at all – it’s a matter of personal preference.  Some people wish to shout their beliefs from the rooftops and have pride in their faith.  Others prefer to keep their religion private – between themselves and the Divine – and these people will probably always feel this way and therefore remain in the ‘broomcloset’.  There is no right or wrong answer – only you know how your feel.

So who are the people who you’re most concerned about knowing?  First on the list will be parents and spouses, closely followed by friends (including girlfriends and boyfriends).  The most common problem is when you’ve tried to broach the subject and they’ve gone completely over the top in their response – not listening to what you’re saying, and not wanting to know that this makes you happy.  Your first response to this will probably be anger at them, followed by hurt and isolation.  This is quite a common problem, so please don't feel alone. But you do have several options open to you - and only you can make the decision as to which you want to go with.

The most common problem is in the definition of the word ‘Witch’.  This is because most (though not all) dictionaries do have a rather antiquated data system which describes a witch as a devil worshipper, evil, ugly, etc. This system is currently being challenged from within the Wiccan community - but change WILL be slow. The Dictionary companies state that their system of explaining the meanings of words is based on the public's image of the item in question. Ask any person in the street what they think of when you mention the word "Witch" and they'll come back at you with Satanist, evil, ugly, etc. So the dictionaries are only going along with popular stereotypes (even they admit it).

The foremost reason that parents (and others) are so upset and closed to you is ignorance - they don't understand what a Wiccan witch is - and the good that we represent. Yet, they are afraid to learn exactly what it is because it may force them to challenge their own religious beliefs and question the whole foundation of their life (in other words, they may actually be afraid that you are right!).  Try to remember throughout this process that the only reason that anyone is angry or trying to ‘convert’ you is actually because they love you and don’t want you to make a mistake – it is only their own lack of education that prevents them from seeing the whole truth.

One option is to try to talk to them again but in a casual way - rather than leaping on them with it. Remember what I said - They are afraid. Imagine you are dealing with a frightened child - you wouldn't leap at them and force your way through - you would coax and cajole and generally weedle your way around them to win their confidence. Explain how peace-loving we are, the Wiccan Rede by which we live our lives, the religous tolerance that forms the back-bone of our faith. You may also wish to have information on hand to help you, look up my Christianity v Wicca page for details.  I would advise that you concentrate more on the spiritual and religious side of the faith when talking to them, try to steer clear of the spells and magick (this will undoubtedly make them uncomfortable).   In time, as they accept your faith, they will also come to accept this part of it too.

Are they connected to the internet? If so, perhaps you may want to SHOW them what Wicca is about - there are plenty of sites out there (as I'm sure you'll already know). And, of course, there's the Cottage too - which I designed specifically to educate those who don't understand our faith (be they newbies or Christians).

Another option (if you don't wish to talk this through with them) is to calmly tell them that you respect their religious choice, their beliefs and their opinions and you expect the same in return as a ..... year old man/woman/young adult. Say that you don't want to argue with them over this, but you've found something that you truly believe in and really makes sense to you. You've found a place in life that you can call 'Home' - if they can't be happy for you, then could they please just respect your choice and let you be happy? The trick here is to remain calm, state this as a sensible, well-thought-out statement and not make it a threat, ultimatum or in any way instil any negative emotions. Depending on how freaked they are - this could be difficult.

Option Three - Do your magickal work in your head (it is possible to perform a whole ritual inside your head - it's the emotions and intent that make the ritual/spell work, not necessarily the spoken words). You could wait until you're alone in the privacy of your home, and then construct your portable altar on the floor or whatever, putting everything away again when you've finished. It is up to your own decision, whether you consider this deceitful or whether you think that the means justify the fact that you're not hurting your parents by causing more trouble by constantly pushing this upon them. (Personally, this is not an option I would choose - but I am not the one making the choice *smile*)

Option Four is the abstain for the period of time that you're staying in their home. It is, after all, their home and they therefore have the right to say what goes on in it. Hopefully it would only be for a short space of time. You could still commune with nature on long walks, and perform you daily devotions in the garden - you could go out into the country or to a friends house to perform spell-work. But you are respecting your parents wishes - which is the main thing about this option. This is the option that I would personally choose after attempting Option 1 and failing (of course, if Option 1 was successful, then I'd go ahead and do my own thing *smile*)

Option Five is a one that I personally do not advocate but feel that I should include because it is an option that is open to you. You could take the attitude that you are a responsible man/woman/young adult and that your religious beliefs are as important as theirs. If you are paying them rent for the room that you'll be staying in then so much the better, as this is therefore now your rented area and you can therefore do what you want in your own space. Then you go ahead and do what you want. As I said, I do not advocate this choice as it WILL cause bad feeling and arguments - but I suppose your personality will dictate which Option appeals to you most - I'm just making you aware of them.

Things to remember are that you are a Wicca - you are peace-loving and respectful of the choices and beliefs of others. Don't start to put-down their beliefs just because they don't agree with yours. This is how they will perceive your new religion and will never accept it.  You want to prove to them that your faith is as good as your word - rise above it and show them by example exactly what Wicca is.

A word of caution -  if you do construct your altar and your parents dismantle it or in any other way deface it, don't lose your temper and rant and rave at them. Stand calmly (take a couple of deep breaths) and calmly say, "Now, how would you feel if I went down to your Church and did this there?". Then turn around and calmly leave the house for a long, calming walk outside.   Don’t start arguing or trashing the house – this will prove to them how immature and irresponsible you are, further reinforcing their belief that you’re not adult enough to be able to choose your own religion.

Another point is that your parents should not try to stop you meditating as this is a common practice nowadays amongst all faiths (including Christian)- and an excellent form of relaxation, which you may need in the times to come.   This is a major part of Wicca as it is a time to commune with the Divine and nature spirits, and you need to reach the meditative state in order to successfully perform spells. 

Finally, don’t feel alone – we’re all out here for you and there are plenty of email lists and discussion forums where you can socialise with others of your beliefs – and received comfort.  If you need strength or comfort, then turn to the Lord and Lady – and they will provide.