If
God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
I
am an agnostic pagan. I doubt the existence of many gods.
There
are two kinds of people: those who say to God: Thy will be
done, and those to whom God says: All right, then, have it
your way. - C.S.Lewis
Never
invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It
annoys them very much. -G.K. Chesterton
Make
God laugh - plan for the future.
I
am ready to meet my maker. Whether or not my maker is prepared
for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. -
Winston Churchill
A
priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender
says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
When
you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the
IRS.
Adam
to Eve: I'll wear the plants in this family!
And
on the 8th day God said, OK Murphy, you take over.
Atheist
achieving orgasm: Oh Random! Oh Chance!
Blessed
are the Fundamentalists, for they shall inhibit the earth.
Give
me some of that old-time Religion... HAIL ZEUS!
If
money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it so
badly?
Instant
shaman - add one drum and beat slowly.
Jesus
loves you. Then again, so does Barney.
Jesus
Saves... Passes to Moses. He shoots... He SCORES!
That
was Zen. This is Tao.
Want
a taste of religion? Bite a minister...
Sects,
sects, sects. Is that all you monks ever think about?
The
Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies,
probably because they are generally the same people.
The
lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't
get much sleep.
To
YOU I'm an atheist. To God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
On
the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: let's
see the evolutionists try to figure <this> one out.
When
did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and suddenly
realized that I was talking to myself.
God
is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
If
you freeze to death and end up in hell... wouldn't you be
really comfortable some point along the way?
If
Jesus came back today and saw what was being done in his name,
he'd never stop throwing up.
If
God is inside us, then I hope he likes fajitas, cause that's
what he's getting.
You've
given your life to Jesus, I've rented mine to Cthulhu.
Confession
without repentance is just bragging. - Rev. Eugene Bolton
They
think, therefore I am. - God
SATAN,
SATAN! It's the main megafurnace! She's losin' power and the
temperature is dropping fast! I'm not sure if I can hold her!
- Scotty in Hell.
Campus
Crusade for Cthulhu: If your god's dead, blame mine.
Go
thou and sin more creatively next time.
Every
time someone predicts the date of the end of the world, God
pushes the date back a little, just to be funny.
It's
your Hell - YOU burn in it!