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*22
April 2001* I've
just come back from a one of the worst holidays of my
life. My mum was ill for most of the time that we
visited her and, a week into our stay, she became so ill
that she was admitted to hospital. There it was
discovered that she had Silent Pneumonia, which is
invariably a killer. Thankfully she is recuperating
well but we are all pretty shook up about how close a call
it was. The doctors in the hospital told her that she
had been very lucky and that if she'd been delayed for 24
hours from being admitted to hospital, she would probably
not have made it. The frightening thing is that if we
had not been staying with her, she never would have made it
to the hospital as she lives alone with no home
visitors. I've always felt responsible for her but now
even more so....... I
had thought that, after all of my studies, etc into the
Afterlife, I would be OK when my mum passed (my father
passed in 2000 and I had a very hard time in getting over
this - I was still grieving 8 years later). This
experience has taught me a few things:
-
No
matter how much we understand and study into the
Afterlife, we will invariably still go through the
classic death responses (shock, denial, anger,
acceptance) - no matter how 'in-touch' we think we
are. We need to go through this grieving process
before we can come to terms with bereavement.
There is no short-cut - Believe Me!!
-
A
one of the reasons that I had such a hard time with my
father's death was my refusal to accept it. I
buried myself in my work and worked hard not to raise my
head or spend time with myself, as this would force me
to have to 'think', which I didn't want to do.
When my mother was admitted to hospital, I spent my time
visiting her and working (sometimes into the early
hours) doing work around the house for her return.
It was only upon reflection that I realised that, had
this situation not worked out as positively as it did, I
would probably have made exactly the same mistakes with
my mother's death as I did all those years ago with my
father.
Experiences
(good or bad) happen to us for only one reason - to teach us
something. Everytime something happens to you - rather
than wallow in self-pity and cry 'Why Me?', try reflecting
upon what it is that you are supposed to learn from
it. Once you've figured it out (sometimes you can't do
this until the experience has passed), you usually find that
what seemed negative situations were actually very helpful
in your spiritual development. In other words - you
CAN turn a bad situation into a good one, with mind power! |